Decaf
by Veggie's Girl
Summary: Hey guys - a little detour from the norm - a pseudo-DBZ humor for u to munch on ^_^ Enjoy!


"I hate you, Vegeta

Decaf

"I hate you, Vegeta!I hate you so much!!" Bulma screeched at the smirking Saiyajin.

"You know that you can't refuse me, woman.Your body is already betraying it's true feelings.Your scent is almost overpowering.You want me **bad**." Replied Vegeta, and threw back his head and laughed at Bulma's blood vessel popping.

"I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the LAST MALE ON EARTH!!!!" screamed Bulma as she unceremoniously stomped off to vent in her workshop, where machinery filled her head instead of men.

Glancing at her watch, she shook her head at how long she had been down here for.

Geez, it took me longer to cool down this time.Beat my previous record by at least an hour…. thought Bulma as the grandfather clock in the family room gonged 2 o'clock.Turning off the light over her desk, she slowly stumbled up the stairs and down the hall– when she passed Vegeta's room on the way, she offhandedly flicked off the door - and opened the door to her room.5 minutes later, she lay passed out on her bed, fast asleep.

Sunshine pouring in from the balcony window descended on Bulma's closed eyelids, causing her to be momentary blinded when she did open them.Her hair a rat nest, her eyes puffy from sleep, and sweaty from the cotton sheets on a humid night caused Bulma's first thought to be – shower.Must shower. 40 minutes later, a refreshened and little more awake Bulma stumbled out her bedroom door in her favorite cotton robe and went into the kitchen.

"Morning, Mom….ma……" the last word stretched out when she saw that she was the only one in the room, where her normally present mother would be cooking away over the stove.Actually, now that she really listened, those noises she always took for granted…..were not there at all.No sound of her father hacking away at some random project of his, no mother cooking away, no sound of that stupid dumb ass dog of her neighbors barking its head off.Just silence.

"There is no one else here, woman.' Spoke a suddenly appeared Vegeta.Bulma turned and looked at him questioningly.

"What do you mean, no one is here?"

"I mean, you feeble minded human, there is no other humans in the near vicinity, or in any where else on this ball of shit planet of yours, as far as I can tell."Bulma just stood there, gawking at him like he was an alien from another planet with three heads ( wait… except for the 3 heads part, that is true ^_^() ) until Vegeta finally scowled and hefted Bulma onto his shoulder.

"Gack!!Vegeta, you bakayarou!!! Put me down!!" she screeched as Vegeta walked out the front door and took off.

"Well, since you obviously don't believe me, woman, I'll show you." He said as he flew over the nearest city.It was true.All the cars were still, all the noises had ceased.It was all too weird for her. Vegeta slowly took them down, and landed in the middle of one of the deserted streets.

"Well, it looks like we're the last people on Chikyuu, woman."He smiled baring his teeth like a wild animal.Bulma finally got an inkling where this was leading."You said so yourself, woman.And here I am, the last male on Earth."He grabbed her around her waist roughly and squeezed her to him.Baring his teeth again, he bit down hard on her shoulder, drawing her blood, making her scream with pain, and even weirder, with pleasure as well.His strong but gentle hands wandering her youthful figure, his tongue everywhere, his fingers slowly making their way to – 

BBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!! Pealed the alarm next to her bed, making Bulma roll over and promptly fall off the bed in a pile of strewn sheets and limbs.Her ratty hair in her mouth and her puffy eyes slightly opened, she could only sigh and plop her head back into the nest she had made on the floor.

"Oi…from now on, NO more coffee before I go to sleep…" she mumbled as she fell back to sleep with the alarm still going.

~**FIN**~

So?? How did u guys like it? Good? Bad? So horrible it made u puke repeatedly? I dunno, I just got this idea in my head and it wouldn't go away until I wrote it down ^_^() So, forgive my moment of stupidity….(Moment? More like a lifetime ^_^()()()() )

So, give me some feed back, k?I'm still kinda new at this pseudo-humor crap I just wrote…. So, yeah. Comments? Please?????


End file.
